It is not easy to define happiness. Individual
preferences overtake each other’s description of the
same.
People often ask: “where do we find happiness?” money,
richness, beauty, coloures, scents, nature etc. all
give us immense pleasure. God has created this
beautiful world only to enchant the occupants. There
is some pleasure, which we can drive without directing
our efforts towards it.
The case of nature is the best
example. The only thing we need is the inclination.
Like the ways to God, the roads to happiness are also
many. To derive pleasure out of one’s life is not
something that comes directly from god. It lies within
us. What we need to rekindle this state of mind is
willingness to think wisely and positively.
The mind is a hotbed of emotions. To have the right
mix of emotions, we need a better actor in us. How to
emote to get the right mix of the mindset is what
matters. Simple things can add colour to our
disenchanted life if we have the time to pause and
think.
Plenty of anything cannot make one happy. But having
this plenty disbursed to the have-nots make us feel
the joy of others.
There were two neighbours. One was rich and the other
the poor. Both were preparing for Diwali. The rich man
decorated his house elaborately and illuminated it
with lights. The poor man only lit a diya at the
entrance of his house.
They were both intimated by god that he would visit
them on New year. The rich man was happy that he had
outdone his neighbour. The poor man was happy that his
diya was glowing in the darkness and that its light
had a divine touch.
Finally, God came to settle their
claims. His attention was first drawn to the single
diya that had lit up an entire dark patch. God was
attracted to this and did not even look at the
brightly-lit house on the other side.
The verdict was
clear. We all yearn for happiness. Having plenty does
not necessarily guarantee happiness. So don’t wait for
heaven to come to you. Make efforts to steer your mind
to a state of happiness by sharing the little you
have. Even a single lamp can cheer up a completely
dark area. Light it and you will find happiness
shining there in your inner self.
What’s happiness?
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
THE BOSS
THE BOSS
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American Thinking (Joke)
Man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.When the dog is about to bite the woman,
the man intervenes and kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this.He said "That was great.
I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.Tomorrow the headline will be
'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here.I am from US". Reporter " OK.
Then the headline will be
US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.
I'm a Pakistani national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read .... .... .... .... .... .... ........ .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....
TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG
Please Note: This is the only joke, please do not take it personal
Some silly questions
1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well, it's so hot , there were no cool cabs
so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in
the cool comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...
why don't you try again or should i try this
time."
3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated
cement.We occasionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so
big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you
ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he' s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive
lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone
call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik
was betting with me that Pakistan would
win. What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects
in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me
if I bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman
asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........
it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Pain of a married man
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why
are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she
replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember
when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released
today!"
HUMOROUS HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
[ A circular was found in one of the office notice boards ]
Dear STAFF ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
1) TRANSPORTATION :
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.
3) LUNCH BREAK :
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
4) SICK DAYS :
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
5) TOILET USE :
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
6) SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
7) INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note : Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee.
A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then
asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between
The Golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
Course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life.
"The golf balls are the important things - your spirituality, family, your
children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that
if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still
be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
and your car.
"The sand is everything else-the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all
your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the
things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with
your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to
dinner.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no
matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
cups of coffee with a friend."
HOPE,TRUST,CONFIDENCE
CONFIDENCE:1 Day all villagers decided to pray for rain.
On the day of prayer all people gathered & only one boy come with umbrella. THATS CONFIDENCE.
TRUST:
Trust should be like feeling of a 1 year old baby, when you throw him in tha air, he laughs....
because he know you will catch him...
HOPE:
Every night we go to bed, have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning
but still we have many plans for coming day...
KEEP CONFIDENCE, TRUST IN GOD AND NEVER LOSE HOPE...
Principles of life
* Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.
* You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
* When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.
* Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.
* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.
* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.
* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.
* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything
* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
* Change your thoughts and you change your world.
* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
* There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.
* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
* Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
Principles u need to know.........
Stop and ask yourself today, "How do I really feel about myself?" Before you answer read these ten principles.
Better yet, keep them before you daily.
********
(1) Never think or speak negatively about yourself; that puts you in disagreement with God.
********
(2) Meditate on your God-given strengths and learn to encourage yourself, for much of the time nobody else will.
********
(3) Don't compare yourself to anybody else. You're unique, one of a kind, an original. So don't settle for being a copy.
********
(4) Focus on your potential, not your limitations. Remember, God lives in you!
********
(5) Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.
********
(6) Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser.
********
(7) Learn to handle criticism. Let it develop you instead of discourage you.
********
(8) Determine your own worth instead of letting others do it for you. They'll short-change you!
********
(9) Keep your shortcomings in perspective - you're still a work in progress.
********
(10) Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence - the God Who lives in you!
Just Read
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month
in Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She was working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar.
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone.You can
never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed
her phone
from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and
save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows
about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family.
(just imagine their love) . Before she passed away shealways told her
friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone"
she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was there. A lot of them
tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to
carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a
person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul
of dead person, who is a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her
phone.
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that
Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for
me.
Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."
Her mother replied....."You come home first, I wanna tell you
something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to
fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop
this nonsense".
Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)
He
said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see
this...."
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to
answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use
her
sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same
person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help again. He brought
his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them€ ’¥’¥’¥
Hutch has the best coverage.
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
Test for Idiocy (Fun)
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!!
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
butdon'ttake as much time as you took for the first one,OK?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take1000and add40to it.. Now add another1000. Now add30.
Add another1000 . Now add20. Now add another 1000
Now add10.. What is the total?
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Did you get5000 ?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Did you AnswerNunu?
NO!Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary.Read the question again!
