Where You Stand Morally!!
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.
Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
THE SITUATION:
You are in Sindh, Larkana to be specific.
There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.
You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of his epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
THE TEST:
Suddenly, you see a man in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.
You move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar...
You suddenly realize who it is... It is Asif Ali Zardari!
You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
You have two options:
You can save the life of Zardari, or, you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most powerful men!
THE QUESTION:
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...
Would you select high contrast colour film, or, would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
Crucial decision
Does Management know their Staff?
On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning
against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and
calmly said to him, how much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal
question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir.
Why?"
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00
cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people
for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months
'salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight. Noticing a
Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies
for everybody in this company". He approached one of the onlookers
and asked him, "Who's the young man that I just fired?" To which an
amazing reply came of, "He was the pizza delivery man, Sir...!!!"
My Dad is Great
How children think of there dad at different ages
At 4 Years
My daddy is great.
At 6 Years
My daddy knows everybody.
At 10 Years
My daddy is good but is short tempered
At 12 Years
My daddy was very nice to me when I was young.
At 14 Years
My daddy is getting fastidious.
At 16 Years
My daddy is not in line with the current times.
At 18 Years
My daddy is becoming increasingly cranky.
At 20 Years
Oh! It's becoming difficult to tolerate daddy. Wonder how Mom puts up with him.
At 25 Years
Daddy is objecting to everything.
At 30 Years
It's becoming difficult to manage my son.. I was so scared of my father when I was young.
At 40 Years
Daddy brought me up with so much discipline. Even I should do the same.
At 45 Years
I am baffled as to how my daddy brought us up.
At 50 Years
My daddy faced so many hardships to bring us up. I am unable to manage a single son.
At 55 Years
My daddy was so far sighted and planned so many things for us. He is one of his kind and unique.
At 60 Years
My daddy is great.
Thus, it took 56 Years to complete the cycle and come back to the 1st stage !
What if this happens to u
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his
room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally
typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile... ..somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home
from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was
called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to
check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son
rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer
screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just
arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for
your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
Modern Jokes
From:Story: 1
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO. As his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson I – " Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything ".
Story: 2
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer.
They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully. And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"
Lesson II – "If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything".
Story: 3
An American and Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese !, etc......??? " The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkey?"
Lesson III – "Never insult anyone".
Story: 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same andshouted," VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the British. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel . He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!. ........"
Lesson IV – "Think twice before you say something, because sometimes what you say accidentally does happen ".
Story: 5
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three , I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouts, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries for a month. "Pfufffff, and he is gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouts , "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails for a month." "Pfufffff, and he is also gone. Then it's the boss's turn, and he says calmly, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch"
Lesson V- "Always allow the bosses to speak first"
*Forty-Three Weird Things You Probably Never Knew!! (But will now!)*
1. A shrimp's heart is in its head.
2. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said
to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
3. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats
could have over a million descendants.
4. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase
the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
5. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then
why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal
Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it
illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with
extraterrestrials or their vehicles? (Like I have a
choice if I'm abducted by aliens!)
6. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman
somewhere.
7. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
8. 23% of all photocopier faults world-wide are caused
by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
9. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
10. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is
different.
11. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If
you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood
vessel in your head or neck and die.
12. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
13. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80
years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich
buried its head in the sand.
14. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up
into the sky.
15. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
16. More than 50% of the people in the world have never
made or received a telephone call.
17. Horses can't vomit.
18. Butterflies taste with their feet.
19. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy
than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.
20. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint
pens every year.
21. On average people fear spiders more than they do
death.
22. Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are
recently arrived immigrants.
23. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal
ads for dating are already married.
24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
25. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116
or older.
26. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not
downstairs.
27. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
28. It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
29. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over
an inch every year because when it was built, engineers
failed to take into account the weight of all the books
that would occupy the building.
30. A snail can sleep for three years.
31. No word in the English language rhymes with
"MONTH."---- -or ORANGE
32. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but
our nose and ears never stop growing.
33. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
34. All polar bears are left handed.
35. In ancient Egypt , priests plucked EVERY hair from
their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
36. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
37. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made
using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
38. "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the
English language.
39. If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be
39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
40. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
41. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
42. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
THE BOSS
THE BOSS
|
American Thinking (Joke)
Man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.When the dog is about to bite the woman,
the man intervenes and kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this.He said "That was great.
I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.Tomorrow the headline will be
'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here.I am from US". Reporter " OK.
Then the headline will be
US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.
I'm a Pakistani national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read .... .... .... .... .... .... ........ .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....
TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG
Please Note: This is the only joke, please do not take it personal
Some silly questions
1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well, it's so hot , there were no cool cabs
so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in
the cool comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...
why don't you try again or should i try this
time."
3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated
cement.We occasionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so
big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you
ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he' s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive
lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone
call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik
was betting with me that Pakistan would
win. What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects
in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me
if I bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman
asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........
it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Pain of a married man
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why
are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she
replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember
when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released
today!"
HUMOROUS HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
[ A circular was found in one of the office notice boards ]
Dear STAFF ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
1) TRANSPORTATION :
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.
3) LUNCH BREAK :
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
4) SICK DAYS :
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
5) TOILET USE :
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
6) SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
7) INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note : Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Just Read
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month
in Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She was working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar.
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone.You can
never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed
her phone
from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and
save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows
about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family.
(just imagine their love) . Before she passed away shealways told her
friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone"
she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was there. A lot of them
tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to
carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a
person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul
of dead person, who is a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her
phone.
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that
Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for
me.
Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."
Her mother replied....."You come home first, I wanna tell you
something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to
fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop
this nonsense".
Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)
He
said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see
this...."
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to
answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use
her
sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same
person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help again. He brought
his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them€ ’¥’¥’¥
Hutch has the best coverage.
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
Test for Idiocy (Fun)
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!!
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
butdon'ttake as much time as you took for the first one,OK?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take1000and add40to it.. Now add another1000. Now add30.
Add another1000 . Now add20. Now add another 1000
Now add10.. What is the total?
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Did you get5000 ?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Did you AnswerNunu?
NO!Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary.Read the question again!
QUESTIONS THAT U CANT ANSWER(TRY IT OUT)
1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
2. A child is born in Boston , Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston , Massachusetts . The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?
3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion "Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story?
6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?
8. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?
10. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
12. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
13. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
14. In Okmulgee , Oklahoma , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
15. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show," One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
16. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
*ANSWERS*
1. A coffin.
2. The child was born before 1776.
3. Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).
4. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.
5. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II.
6. The word "and".
7. They fall in the same year every year. New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year.
8. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.
9. Nine.
10. Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.
11. "One word"
12. Penguins live in the Antarctic.
13. Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow.
14. You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a wooden leg.
15. They were husband and wife.
16. Meat.
What We Dont Learn From SCHOOL
No history teacher told us the following( I suppose) ...
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat !
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker":
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.
Creepy, huh? Send this to as many people as you can, because:
this is one history lesson people don't mind reading ! !
Lessons in Logic---Simply for Fun
I was born intelligent - Education ruined me.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
Practice makes perfect, But nobody's perfect; So why practice?
........... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
............ ......... ......... ......... ... ......... ......... .......
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
............ ......... ......... ....... ........ ......... .......... ......
Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ...... ......
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.
.. ......... ......... ......... ........ .... ......... .......
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
............ ......... ......... ......... . ......... ......... ......
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
............ ......... ......... ......... .. ......... ......... ......
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.
... ......... ......... ......... ........ ..... ......... .......
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
............ ......... ... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ..
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
............ ... ......... ......... ........ ......... ........ ......
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............ ......... ......... ......... .. ......... ......... ......
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
............ ......... ... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So... Why learn.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
**********
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
************ *********
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........
Aakash ,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
**********
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... Right ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b) No
**********
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you .
Becareful ...... Change in English language is proposed.
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been
reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased
plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by
"z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst place....
Looking for the perfect partner?
One day Mulla Nasrudin and a good friend took a walk.
"I’m getting married on the morrow, Mulla," pronounced his friend very excitedly. "Isn’t marriage wonderful, Mulla!
It is quite the best! Have you ever considered getting married, Mulla?"
Nasrudin smiled. "In my youth I thought of nothing else. In fact, I so wanted to find the perfect wife I travelled the world searching for her. In Damascus, I met a beautiful woman who was spiritual, kind and loving, but she had no worldly knowledge. In Isphahan, I met a woman who was kind, loving and worldly, but she was not interested in the spiritual life?"
"Where did you travel to next?" asked his friend.
Nasrudin smiled, "I forget where, but I met a truly beautiful woman who was spiritual, kind, loving and worldly, but she could not communicate well. Finally, I went to Cairo and there, after much searching, I found the perfect wife. She was everything I had wanted her to be. She was perfect."
"Then why did you not marry her, Mulla?"
"Alas," said Nasrudin, shaking his head, "she was, unfortunately, looking for the perfect husband!"
