Ponder these points:
Do not be sad, because sadness causes you to regret the past, to have misgivings concerning the future, and to make you waste away your present.
Do not be sad, because it causes the heart to contract, the face to frown, the spirit to weaken, and hope to vanish.
Do not be sad, because your sadness pleases your enemy, angers your friend, and makes the jealous rejoice.
Do not be sad, because by being sad, you are complaining against the Divine decree, showing vexation at what is written for you. It takes you out of loving emotions. It is verdict against the blessings.
Do not be sad, because grief cannot return to you the one that is lost or is gone away. It cannot resurrect the dead, it cannot change fate or bring any benefit whatsoever.
Do not be sad, because sadness is often from the devil and is a kind of hopelessness.
DO NOT BE SAD
Modern Jokes
From:Story: 1
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO. As his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson I – " Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything ".
Story: 2
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer.
They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully. And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"
Lesson II – "If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything".
Story: 3
An American and Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese,Vietnamese !, etc......??? " The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkey, or monkey?"
Lesson III – "Never insult anyone".
Story: 4
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same andshouted," VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the British. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel . He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!. ........"
Lesson IV – "Think twice before you say something, because sometimes what you say accidentally does happen ".
Story: 5
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says,
"Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three , I will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager shouts, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries for a month. "Pfufffff, and he is gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouts , "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails for a month." "Pfufffff, and he is also gone. Then it's the boss's turn, and he says calmly, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch"
Lesson V- "Always allow the bosses to speak first"
Five Lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:
'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?'
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?
I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. 'Absolutely, ' said the professor. 'In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.' I've never fo rgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m. , an elderly African-American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
It read:
'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.'
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.
'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked. 'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
'Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?' he inquired.
By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. 'Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely replied.
The little boy again counted his coins. 'I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.
The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..
You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
The Hands
The Hands
An old man, probably some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the park bench. He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands. When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was ok.
Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was ok. He raised his head and looked at me and smiled. Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking, he said in a clear strong voice. I didn't mean to disturb you, sir, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were ok I explained to him. Have you ever looked at your hands he asked. I mean really looked at your hands?
I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making.
Then he smiled and related this story: Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.
As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They dried the tears of my children and caressed the love of my life. They held my rifle and wiped my tears when I went off to war. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son.
Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle. Yet, they were strong and sure when I dug my buddy out of a foxhole and lifted a plow off of my best friends foot.
They have held children, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.
These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And He won't care about where these hands have been or what they have done. What He will care about is to whom these hands belong and how much He loves these hands. And with these hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of God.
No doubt I will never look at my hands the same again. I never saw the old man again after I left the park that day but I will never forget him and the words he spoke. When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and wife I think of the man in the park. I have a feeling he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God..
Interesting Management Stories
Interesting Management Stories
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.
Scene :
Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world :
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd ! "
Scene :
As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.
Management Lesson in the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT
*Forty-Three Weird Things You Probably Never Knew!! (But will now!)*
1. A shrimp's heart is in its head.
2. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said
to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
3. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats
could have over a million descendants.
4. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase
the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
5. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then
why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal
Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it
illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with
extraterrestrials or their vehicles? (Like I have a
choice if I'm abducted by aliens!)
6. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman
somewhere.
7. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
8. 23% of all photocopier faults world-wide are caused
by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.
9. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
10. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is
different.
11. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If
you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood
vessel in your head or neck and die.
12. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
13. In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80
years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich
buried its head in the sand.
14. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up
into the sky.
15. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
16. More than 50% of the people in the world have never
made or received a telephone call.
17. Horses can't vomit.
18. Butterflies taste with their feet.
19. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy
than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.
20. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint
pens every year.
21. On average people fear spiders more than they do
death.
22. Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are
recently arrived immigrants.
23. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal
ads for dating are already married.
24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
25. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116
or older.
26. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not
downstairs.
27. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
28. It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
29. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over
an inch every year because when it was built, engineers
failed to take into account the weight of all the books
that would occupy the building.
30. A snail can sleep for three years.
31. No word in the English language rhymes with
"MONTH."---- -or ORANGE
32. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but
our nose and ears never stop growing.
33. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
34. All polar bears are left handed.
35. In ancient Egypt , priests plucked EVERY hair from
their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
36. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
37. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made
using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
38. "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the
English language.
39. If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be
39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
40. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
41. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
42. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Computer Learning
Learning has become a great problem for the people of low economic group now a days.The cost of learning has increased considerably today.Eventhough there are many universities around us, all are not able to afford them.It is during this stage that the Computer based e- learning has its importance.Rather than the conventional classroom and instructor or professor setting, computer based training involves learning using software applications installed in computers. The student is, in effect, trained by the computer.Here computer acts as a virtual class teacher.Thus the computer has been evolved from a mere electronic to something to change peoples life. Oftentimes, this method of learning can be much more effective than the practice of teaching and learning in classrooms because the student, if working alone, can set his or her own speed of learning.
During my regular search one day i happened to see a site http://www.computerbasedtrainings.net.This site offers various courses including many software and degree courses.This site offer computer training and many more stuffs.Here they also give many personality development courses and Leadership training.
This Site is very useful for learning computer courses and small courses.
Dating For Men
Dating has become a passion for youngsters as well as middle aged people these days. Dating has many good as well as bad sides. But since it is having more good sides everyone accepts it. Dating helps youngsters to find their pairs and the middle aged people to find a good friend to share their sorrows. It helps to remove loneliness and gives energy to ones mind. It is also a means to make many friends and get accepted by everyone. By dating person finds someone with whom he can share his emotions and sorrow. Actually it is a source of mental strength and happiness
Dating and men
Even though both men and women involve in dating, Men often comes under pressure and stress during their hunt for a date. This is because of the great competition in this field and also during to lack of confidence in some men. In one of my routine searches for dating sites, I came across a site which was meant for males alone. It was not JUST a dating site. It was something more than that. The site http://www.themodernman.com/ teaches every aspect of dating and how to get a good date. It explains in simple language and step by step how to approach women.
There are many features in this Dating Site,which you hardly get from any other site. If you are in search of tips and tricks to get a good date then you should give a visit here. For example they provide you with pre recorded audio tapes which contains all the details of dating. It will also be helpful to solve your frequently asked questions about dating and related matters.
Not only is this if you are a new comer to this field then there a section completely devoted for you. This site teaches every aspects of dating. It actually acts as a personality development programme for you. So it helps in Dating as well as to improve your personality.
The site http://www.themodernman.com actually makes it clear that dating is not something we do for fun. It is something that we should do after lots of research and learning. It helps to make a person attract ladies by some simple tips and techniques. They also provide knowledge to those who have not heard of dating till the moment they read this article. According to me it will be a great loss for someone who after reading the whole details fails to visit this site.
With a good level of understanding about dating and related subjects you can make it more enjoyable and also fruitful. Instead of making it as just a matter for spending time it can help you very much.
Check out this site here
What’s happiness?
It is not easy to define happiness. Individual
preferences overtake each other’s description of the
same.
People often ask: “where do we find happiness?” money,
richness, beauty, coloures, scents, nature etc. all
give us immense pleasure. God has created this
beautiful world only to enchant the occupants. There
is some pleasure, which we can drive without directing
our efforts towards it.
The case of nature is the best
example. The only thing we need is the inclination.
Like the ways to God, the roads to happiness are also
many. To derive pleasure out of one’s life is not
something that comes directly from god. It lies within
us. What we need to rekindle this state of mind is
willingness to think wisely and positively.
The mind is a hotbed of emotions. To have the right
mix of emotions, we need a better actor in us. How to
emote to get the right mix of the mindset is what
matters. Simple things can add colour to our
disenchanted life if we have the time to pause and
think.
Plenty of anything cannot make one happy. But having
this plenty disbursed to the have-nots make us feel
the joy of others.
There were two neighbours. One was rich and the other
the poor. Both were preparing for Diwali. The rich man
decorated his house elaborately and illuminated it
with lights. The poor man only lit a diya at the
entrance of his house.
They were both intimated by god that he would visit
them on New year. The rich man was happy that he had
outdone his neighbour. The poor man was happy that his
diya was glowing in the darkness and that its light
had a divine touch.
Finally, God came to settle their
claims. His attention was first drawn to the single
diya that had lit up an entire dark patch. God was
attracted to this and did not even look at the
brightly-lit house on the other side.
The verdict was
clear. We all yearn for happiness. Having plenty does
not necessarily guarantee happiness. So don’t wait for
heaven to come to you. Make efforts to steer your mind
to a state of happiness by sharing the little you
have. Even a single lamp can cheer up a completely
dark area. Light it and you will find happiness
shining there in your inner self.
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
THE BOSS
THE BOSS
|
American Thinking (Joke)
Man sees a woman getting chased by a dog.When the dog is about to bite the woman,
the man intervenes and kicks the dog.
A reporter was seeing all this.He said "That was great.
I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.Tomorrow the headline will be
'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."
The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here.I am from US". Reporter " OK.
Then the headline will be
US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".
Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen.
I'm a Pakistani national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read .... .... .... .... .... .... ........ .... .... .... .... .... .... .... ....
TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG
Please Note: This is the only joke, please do not take it personal
Some silly questions
1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Well, it's so hot , there were no cool cabs
so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in
the cool comfort of the theatre.
2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...
why don't you try again or should i try this
time."
3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant:When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer:-No, its teribble and made of adulterated
cement.We occasionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt
meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so
big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you
ask
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he' s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive
lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone
call
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping.
Answer:-No. I was playing cricket for India at
Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik
was betting with me that Pakistan would
win. What do you think?
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently
shorter hair
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects
in your mouth
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-And while I'm telling you , you tell me
if I bite.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman
asks
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke
Answer:-No, it's a miracle ...........
it was a chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Pain of a married man
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of
him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why
are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. "Yes I do" she
replies.
The husband pauses; the words were not coming easily. "Do you remember
when your father caught us in the garden?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued.. "Do you remember when he showed the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have been released
today!"
HUMOROUS HRD NOTICE OF A COMPANY TO ALL EMPLOYEES
[ A circular was found in one of the office notice boards ]
Dear STAFF ,
Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___
1) TRANSPORTATION :
It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
a) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
b) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
c) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
2) ANNUAL LEAVE :
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! said 1 employee).
- They are called SUNDAYs.
3) LUNCH BREAK :
a) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
b) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
c) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
4) SICK DAYS :
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.
- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
5) TOILET USE :
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
a) There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles.
b) At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
c) After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
d) Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
6) SURGERY :
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.
- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.
- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
7) INTERNET USAGE :
All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
will be deducted from your salary.
- Important Note : Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 4MB connection.
Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee.
A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then
asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between
The Golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
Course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life.
"The golf balls are the important things - your spirituality, family, your
children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that
if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still
be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
and your car.
"The sand is everything else-the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all
your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the
things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with
your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to
dinner.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no
matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
cups of coffee with a friend."
HOPE,TRUST,CONFIDENCE
CONFIDENCE:1 Day all villagers decided to pray for rain.
On the day of prayer all people gathered & only one boy come with umbrella. THATS CONFIDENCE.
TRUST:
Trust should be like feeling of a 1 year old baby, when you throw him in tha air, he laughs....
because he know you will catch him...
HOPE:
Every night we go to bed, have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning
but still we have many plans for coming day...
KEEP CONFIDENCE, TRUST IN GOD AND NEVER LOSE HOPE...
Principles of life
* Winning isn't everything. But wanting to win is.
* You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
* When everything else is lost, the future stillremains.
* Don't fight too much. Or the enemy would know your art of war.
* The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
* If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
* If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
* Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
* You won't get a second chance to make the first impression.
* Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
* Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
* If you are not failing you're not taking enough risks.
* Don't try to get rid of bad temper by losing it.
* If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
* Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything
* There are two kinds of failures. Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
* Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
* All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
* Change your thoughts and you change your world.
* Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
* There are two kinds of fools in this world. Those who give advise and those who don't take it.
* The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
* Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
* Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
Principles u need to know.........
Stop and ask yourself today, "How do I really feel about myself?" Before you answer read these ten principles.
Better yet, keep them before you daily.
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(1) Never think or speak negatively about yourself; that puts you in disagreement with God.
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(2) Meditate on your God-given strengths and learn to encourage yourself, for much of the time nobody else will.
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(3) Don't compare yourself to anybody else. You're unique, one of a kind, an original. So don't settle for being a copy.
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(4) Focus on your potential, not your limitations. Remember, God lives in you!
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(5) Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.
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(6) Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser.
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(7) Learn to handle criticism. Let it develop you instead of discourage you.
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(8) Determine your own worth instead of letting others do it for you. They'll short-change you!
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(9) Keep your shortcomings in perspective - you're still a work in progress.
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(10) Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence - the God Who lives in you!
Just Read
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month
in Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She was working in a call centre. She has a boy friend named Shankar.
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the phone.You can
never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed
her phone
from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and
save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knows
about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family.
(just imagine their love) . Before she passed away shealways told her
friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone"
she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was there. A lot of them
tried to do so but still cant , everybody including me, had tried to
carry the body, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a
person who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul
of dead person, who is a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here." Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her
phone.
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that
Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for
me.
Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her."
Her mother replied....."You come home first, I wanna tell you
something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "dont try to
fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop
this nonsense".
Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)
He
said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from Priya, see
this...."
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to
answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use
her
sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked for the same
person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help again. He brought
his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them€ ’¥’¥’¥
Hutch has the best coverage.
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
Test for Idiocy (Fun)
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!!
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutel! y wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!
Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
butdon'ttake as much time as you took for the first one,OK?
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take1000and add40to it.. Now add another1000. Now add30.
Add another1000 . Now add20. Now add another 1000
Now add10.. What is the total?
~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Did you get5000 ?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
Did you AnswerNunu?
NO!Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary.Read the question again!
" THE LAW OF THE RUBBISH BINS "
How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a
bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive colleague ruin your
day?
Of course, for an instant you will probably be set back on your
heels.However, the mark of a happy & successful person is how quickly one
can get one's focus back to what is important.
I learned it in the back of a London black cab. Here's what happened. I
hopped in a taxi at the Bank and we took off for Moorgate tube Station. We
had been driving about 200 yards when suddenly a black car jumped out of a
parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks,
skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches!
Here's what happened next. The driver of the other car, the guy who almost
caused a big accident, whipped his head around and instead of apologizing,
started yelling bad words at us.
Now, here's what took me by surprise. Instead of getting angry or annoyed,
my taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. He was actually friendly
towards the other man!
I said, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent
us to the hospital!' And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now
call, 'The Law of the Rubbish Bins.
Many people are like rubbish bins. They run around full of garbage, full of
frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their bin piles
up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they will dump it
straight on you.
When someone wants to dump on you, do not take it personally. Just smile,
wave, wish them well, and move on.
So this was it; The 'Law of the Rubbish Bins.
I started thinking, how often do I let 'Rubbish bins' run right over me?
And how often do I take their rubbish and spread it to other people: at
work, at home, on the streets?
It was that very day I decided that I was not going to do it anymore. I
then began to see be aware of rubbish bins. I see the load they are
carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And with the grace of our
beloved Lord; I too have learnt just to smile, wave, wish them well, and
move on.
"Do More Than Asked" - By Zelig Pliskin
There are people who prefer to do favors for others when they volunteer to do so. When they are asked, they often consider it a burden. The benefit of being asked by another person is that then you know for certain what this person’s needs actually are. Show that fulfilling this person’s request is something that you really want to do. How? By doing more than you have been asked to do.
At times we might do what we have been asked to do because we find it difficult to say no. We know that we should do acts of kindness and therefore do things out of embarrassment. Our going beyond the specifics of what was asked of us is an expression that our true inner will is to do acts of kindness.
Many people hesitate to ask for favors because they don’t like to be a burden to others. They don’t want others to do things for them just because those people would feel guilty for refusing. When you do more than you have been asked, you demonstrate your sincere willingness to help. We go the extra mile when we enjoy what we are doing or we feel that this is the right thing to do.
Doing more than you have been asked will enable the recipient of your kindness to feel better about all that you have done for him before, are doing now, and will do for him in the future. The extra thing you do could be a relatively minor thing, but the benefits are major.
The author heard these examples from friends:
"I asked him to lend me five hundred dollars. I was overwhelmed when on his own he offered two thousand dollars and he told me, ‘Thank you for asking. It’s my pleasure.’ "
"I asked my friends if I could stay at their home for a few days. They told me their house was available for even a month. The entire week I was their guest I felt totally at home."
"I asked my neighbor if she could watch my children for a couple of hours so I could rest. My neighbor offered to have them stay overnight so I could get a good night’s sleep. I felt grateful beyond words."
"I asked a few questions about how to use my new computer. I was treated to a full three hour lesson."
"I asked for a lift and expected to walk from my neighbor’s house to my own. Instead, the driver went out of his way to take me the full distance that I needed."
When Do Ideas Die ?
When Do Ideas Die ? and what to do about them?- Edward de Bono
Why Ideas die...
1. When enough people attack the idea.
2. When there is no enthusiasm or passion for the idea.
3. When the cost of trying out the idea is considerable and there are other priorities demanding funds.
4. When the idea appears to be risky.
5. When there is no one senior to champion the idea.
6. When an idea does not seem feasible at first appearance.
7. When there are ego problems between those promoting the idea and those opposing it.
8. When the idea is seen as 'the same as' an old idea or something that is already being done.
9. When a change of circumstances or strategy lessens the value of the idea.
10. When the idea has been tried and has failed.
There may be many more reasons to add to the above list.
When new ideas die, they are assigned to a sort of cemetery. They may never be looked at again. Or they may be reviewed periodically.
If an idea genuinely offers value then it is always worth reviewing it periodically to see if that value can now be delivered or if the value is now even more significant.
There are concepts of value and concepts of delivery. As usual in creative thinking, it is important to extract and spell out the concept that seems to be in use in the new idea.
If the concept of delivery is made clear, then this concept might be challenged and an alternative way of delivering the same value might be found. If the concept of value is made clear, then there might be other forms of value derived from this basic concept.
Even when an idea 'dies', the concept behind the idea need not die at the same time. The concept can survive while efforts are made to see how it might be delivered through a practical idea.
When an idea dies, it is important to spell out very clearly why this has happened. Is it a matter of cost? Is it a matter of implementation? Is it a matter of feasibility and practicality? Is it a matter of risk? Is it a matter of low value? In practice, it will usually be a combination of several of these. It may simply be a matter of low motivation for the idea. That is always difficult to admit.
Keep analyzing your ideas and idea bank. It may spring surprises
QUESTIONS THAT U CANT ANSWER(TRY IT OUT)
1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
2. A child is born in Boston , Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston , Massachusetts . The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?
3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion "Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story?
6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?
8. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
9. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?
10. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
11. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
12. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
13. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
14. In Okmulgee , Oklahoma , you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
15. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show," One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
16. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
*ANSWERS*
1. A coffin.
2. The child was born before 1776.
3. Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).
4. Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.
5. World War I wasn't called "World War I" until World War II.
6. The word "and".
7. They fall in the same year every year. New Year's Day just arrives very early in the year and Christmas arrives very late in the same year.
8. One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar bills are worth one dollar more than one thousand nine hundred and eighty-nine dollar bills.
9. Nine.
10. Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.
11. "One word"
12. Penguins live in the Antarctic.
13. Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow.
14. You have to take a picture of a man with a camera, not with a wooden leg.
15. They were husband and wife.
16. Meat.
Inspiring Thoughts
"Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation.
Yourcharacter is what you really are while your reputation is merely whatothers think you are."
"Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right.' Start where youstand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, andbetter tools will be found as you go along."
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
"Some men see things as they are and say, "Why?" I dream of things thatnever were and say, "Why not?"
"A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and itfills the whole world and puts everything out of focus. Hold it at aproper distance and it can be examined and properly classified. Throwit at your feet and it can be seen in its true setting, just one moretiny bump on the pathway of life."
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can startfrom now and make a brand new ending.""I'm not telling you it is going to be easy - I'm telling you it'sgoing to be worth it"
Rules for Life
These are the 16 rules for life and business written by Bob Parsons, the founder and CEO of GoDaddy.
1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone.
I believe that not much happens of any significance when we're in our comfort zone. I hear people say, "But I'm concerned about security." My response to that is simple: "Security is for cadavers."
2. Never give up.
Almost nothing works the first time it's attempted. Just because what you're doing does not seem to be working, doesn't mean it won't work. It just means that it might not work the way you're doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.
3. When you're ready to quit, you're closer than you think.
There's an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: "The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."
4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be.
Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of "undefined consequences." My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, "Well, Robert, if it doesn't work, they can't eat you."
5. Focus on what you want to have happen.
Remember that old saying, "As you think, so shall you be."
6. Take things a day at a time.
No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don't look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.
7. Always be moving forward.
Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.
8. Be quick to decide.
Remember what General George S. Patton said: "A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow."
9. Measure everything of significance.
I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.
10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate.
If you want to uncover problems you don't know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven't examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.
11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you're doing.
When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.
12. Never let anybody push you around.
In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you're doing as anyone else, provided that what you're doing is legal.
13. Never expect life to be fair.
Life isn't fair. You make your own breaks. You'll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).
14. Solve your own problems.
You'll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you'll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: "You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others." There's also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: "A wise man keeps his own counsel."
15. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.
16. There's always a reason to smile.
Find it. After all, you're really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: "We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time!"
Flowing outward
Your circumstances do not make you. Your circumstances reveal you.
The events in your life do not cause you to be one way or another. The events in your life give you the opportunity to express who you are by the way you deal with them.
Like a mirror, the world around you reflects your values, your beliefs and expectations. The things you experience outside yourself resonate with the person you are inside.
To bring about a positive change in your world, you must first make that positive change deep within yourself. Life flows from the inside toward the outside.
Any gains you make on the outside that do not have their origin on the inside will be temporary and mostly meaningless. Real, lasting success on the outside comes only after success has first been nurtured within.
Take great care with the authentic person you are inside. And that real value will flow outward to every corner of your life.
A million dollar lesson
A cab driver taught me a million dollar lesson in customer satisfaction and expectation. Motivational speakers charge thousands of dollars to impart his kind of training to corporate executives and staff. It cost me a $12 taxi ride.
I had flown into Dallas for the sole purpose of calling on a client. Time was of the essence and my plan included a quick turnaround trip from and back to the airport. A spotless cab pulled up.
The driver rushed to open the passenger door for me and made sure I was comfortably seated before he closed the door. As he got in the driver's seat, he mentioned that the neatly folded Wall Street Journal next to me for my use. He then showed me several tapes and asked me what type of music I would enjoy.
Well! I looked around for a "Candid Camera!" Wouldn't you? I could not believe the service I was receiving! I took the opportunity to say, "Obviously you take great pride in your work. You must have a story to tell."
"You bet," he replied, "I used to be in Corporate America. But I got tired of thinking my best would never be good enough. I decided to find my niche in life where I could feel proud of being the best I could be.
I knew I would never be a rocket scientist, but I love driving cars, being of service and feeling like I have done a full day's work and done it well. I evaluate my personal assets and... wham! I became a cab driver.
One thing I know for sure, to be good in my business I could simply just meet the expectations of my passengers. But, to be GREAT in my business, I have to EXCEED the customer's expectations! I like both the sound and the return of being 'great' better than just getting by on 'average'"
Did I tip him big time? You bet! Corporate America's loss is the traveling folk's friend!
What We Dont Learn From SCHOOL
Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
Try to get enough sleep.
When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to____ today."
Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2006.
Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
Dream more while you are awake.
Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.
Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets, Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, wills this matter?"
Forgive everyone for everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Do the right thing!
Call your family often.
Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for ___." Today I accomplished ____.
Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
What We Dont Learn From SCHOOL
No history teacher told us the following( I suppose) ...
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat !
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker":
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.
Creepy, huh? Send this to as many people as you can, because:
this is one history lesson people don't mind reading ! !
