Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
Try to get enough sleep.
When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to____ today."
Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2006.
Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
Dream more while you are awake.
Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
Try to make at least three people smile each day.
Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets, Don't save it for a special occasion.
Today is special.
No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, wills this matter?"
Forgive everyone for everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Do the right thing!
Call your family often.
Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for ___." Today I accomplished ____.
Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
What We Dont Learn From SCHOOL
What We Dont Learn From SCHOOL
No history teacher told us the following( I suppose) ...
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat !
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker":
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
and Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater.
Creepy, huh? Send this to as many people as you can, because:
this is one history lesson people don't mind reading ! !
Ease out those first date blues.......
Instant Message from God
Me: Called you? N-no.. who is this?
God : This is GOD - I heard your prayers - thought we'd chat.
Me: Well, I do pray - makes me feel good - but I'm actually busy right now. I'm in the midst of something.
God : What're you busy at? Ants are busy, too.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.
God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand, but I still can't figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God : Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we NOT worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamonds cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials but don't necessarily have to suffer because of them. With their experiences, their life ought to become better, not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experiences are useful?
God : Yes. In everyday terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we're heading....
God : If you look outside, you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast enough seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how can we stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God : When they suffer they ask, "Why me?" When they prosper, they never ask, "Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, yet few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I? why am I here? I can't get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. Sometimes the answer is simply NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live."
PUT THE GLASS DOWN
That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!'
Remember to 'PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY!
How to Study
There are as many different ways to study as there are different people. The following is a list of tips that have worked best for the greatest number of people. Some of them may work for you, some of them won't, but try them all and work out your own study plan. You cannot change the number of hours, but you can decide how to best use them.
1) Study in the Same Place
Find a secluded place, away from distractions, with plenty of space to work. Once you've found it, study at the same place every time. It could be a desk in your bedroom, the kitchen table, or the local library. Laying down on your bed or sprawled across the living room rug are generally not good study places. Also make sure that you keep your spine erect for better level of concentration.
2) Study at the Same Time
Figure out a suitable time of day you can concentrate best, and what works into your schedule. Use that time every day to study. Try to make sure it is not too late in the evening. It is important to have uninterrupted study time.
3) Use a Homework Box
Keep all your homework supplies in one place, ready to be used. Keep them organized, and you won't need to waste your time searching for resources.
4) Cut out All Distractions
If your Study Place is too warm, you might become sleepy. If it is too cold, your thinking may slow down and become unclear. The TV should be switched off, other people's conversations should be in another room, music should be turned down, and phone calls should be taken after you've finished studying. Any other thoughts in your mind should also be set aside for a later time.
5) Do the Hard Things First
If you are dreading a particular assignment, or you are aware that it requires a lot of extra effort, do it first. Your brain will be fresh. Besides, you won't have to dwell on it while you are working on other homework.
6) Schedule Long Term Projects
Larger projects need to be broken into smaller components to make them convenient. For example, these components could be such things as gathering notes, writing a rough draft, making corrections or additions, writing a bibliography, and completing the final copy. Set yourself a deadline for completing each component and make sure you stick to it.
7) Review Regularly
Homework is not just that which is assigned every night. A regular review of your notes should be a part of your homework plan. This takes just a few minutes each day, but will pay off considerably when it comes to test time.
8) Write up a Contract
Each Sunday before a school week, prepare a Weekly Schedule. Update it as the week goes on. Be sure to include times for completing assignments, working on projects and studying for tests.
9) Schedule Each Homework Session
When you sit down to do your homework, make up a quick schedule as to how you are going to use your time. Break it up into blocks of time that you will spend on each task.
10) Avoid Doing a Marathon
If you've followed the previous tips, this last one should never happen. However, you need to know that marathon study sessions are the least productive way to study. So don't keep your things pending till the last moment to avoid unnecessary hiccups.
Lessons in Logic---Simply for Fun
I was born intelligent - Education ruined me.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
Practice makes perfect, But nobody's perfect; So why practice?
........... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
If it's true that we are here to help others,
Then what exactly are the others here for?
............ ......... ......... ......... ... ......... ......... .......
Since light travels faster than sound,
People appear bright until you hear them speak.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
............ ......... ......... ....... ........ ......... .......... ......
Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ...... ......
If your father is a poor man,
It is your fate but,
If your father-in-law is a poor man,
It's your stupidity.
.. ......... ......... ......... ........ .... ......... .......
One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
............ ......... ......... ......... . ......... ......... ......
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
............ ......... ......... ......... .. ......... ......... ......
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.
... ......... ......... ......... ........ ..... ......... .......
The wise never marry.
And when they marry they become otherwise.
............ ......... ... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
Never put off the work till tomorrow
What you can put off today.
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ..
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
............ ......... ......... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
............ ... ......... ......... ........ ......... ........ ......
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
............ ......... ......... ......... .. ......... ......... ......
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
............ ......... ... ......... ........ ......... ......... ......
God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So... Why learn.
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say........
Life's Little Instruction Book
- Have a firm handshake.
- Look people in the eye.
- Sing in the shower .
- Own a great stereo system.
- If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
- Keep secrets.
- Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
- Always accept an outstretched hand.
- Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
- Avoid sarcastic remarks.
- Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
- Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
- Lend only those books you never care to see again.
- Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
- When playing games with ! children, let them win.
- Give people a second chance, but not a third.
- Be romantic.
- Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
- Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
- Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.
- Be a good loser.
- Be a good winner.
- Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
- When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
- Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
- Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
- Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
- Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
- Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.
- Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
- Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
- Take chrge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
- Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
- Begin each day with some of your favorite music.
- Once in a while, take the scenic route.
- Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
- Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
- Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
- Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
- Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
- Become someone's hero.
- Marry only for love.
- Count your blessings.
- Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
- Wave at the children on a school bus.
- Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
Q-Tip it!
Back in the 1920's when Polish-American entrepreneur Leo Gerstenzang invented cotton swabs as a safer way to clean his baby's ears, he called his product "Q-Tip." Actually, his first name-choice was "Baby Gay" - but that didn't sell, so the by-now familiar name emerged. Mr. Gerstenzang chose "Q" for Quality . . . and he must have been on to something, because Q-Tip has become a household word (and we've developed a whole 'nother set of connotations for 'Baby Gay.')
Which made Q-Tip a good choice for an acronym that's going 'round in motivational workshops these days: Quit Taking It Personally! I have a jar of those little white-tipped tools on my vanity, and every morning they remind me to use this quick-and-easy stress reduction technique: Q-Tip It!
· The traffic jam or the flat tire, or the keys that get locked in the car are not part of a plan to ruin your day. Q-Tip It - Quit Taking It Personally!
· The keys that can never be found are just inanimate objects, and there is no moral value attributable to being able to find everything anyway. Q-Tip It!
· The computer that freezes just when you've got an important report to print really IS just a stupid machine. Take a deep breath and repeat the maxim about accepting the things you cannot change. Above all -- Q-Tip It!
· The supervisor who wants everything done yesterday has a problem with time management and scheduling. You're more likely to find a constructive way to deal with this of persistent stress situation if you Q-Tip It!
· The 5 pounds you can't seem to lose are just a ball of fat . . . not a moral failure. You know what to do - eat less, move more. So get moving . . . and Q-Tip It!
· The kids who don't call often enough probably really ARE busy (and didn't you raise them to be independent?). Q-Tip It!
· The colleague who consistently says you're doing something all wrong is telling you more about her needs than about your way of doing things. Q-Tip It!
· Got a spouse (or friend, or child) who seems always to ignore things you say? Odds are she/he is hard of hearing, forgetful, or caught up in her own priorities rather than trying to drive you nuts. Q-Tip It!
· ______________________________________________ (fill in your own stressors - and Q-Tip It! )
You get the picture . . . and the image, too. Stress is not what happens to us. It's our response TO what happens. And RESPONSE is something we can choose.
Inspiring Quotes
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what
it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill
Motivate them, train them,
care about them, and make winners out of them...
they'll treat the customers right.
And if customers are treated right, they'll come back.
-J. Marriott Jr.
Men of lower strength do not undertake any work apprehending
obstacle. Mediocre make a start, but cease working when they
encounter hindrances. The men of excellence, however, after
commencing a job do not give up despite recurrence of impediments.
-Subhashita
What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.They are but
trifles, to be sure, but, scattered along life's pathway, the good
they do is inconceivable.
-Joseph Addison
Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions
form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our
destiny.
-Tyron Edwards
Feel like Christ and you will be a Christ; feel like Buddha and you
will be a Buddha.It is feeling that is the life, the strength, the
vitality, without which no amount of intellectual activity can reach
God.
-Swami Vivekananda
Learn the essence of Mind Control
Do you ever sit to work and then spend most of your time day dreaming? Do you feel that your wandering mind is causing delays in your work? Do you feel a desperate need to control your mind and don’t know how to do so?
We are all given a mind to think and we are all born with the same power to utilize our mind. The mind is the most powerful of all forces a mankind can ever experience. One can elevate or degrade oneself by one’s own mind. The mind can become one’s best friend or the worst enemy. The mind becomes a friend to the one who has control over it and becomes an enemy for the one who is controlled by the mind.
Why is it necessary to control your mind? An uncontrolled mind is like a wild horse, which has a lot of energy and keeps running after so many things, whereas a controlled mind is like a trained horse. Imagine trying to channel all your mental energy towards one task. You will do a job/task better if all your mental energy is channeled properly towards it.
With a wandering mind a person cannot concentrate on his/her work and often has to face severe conditions and pressure at work. Its not that we don’t know how to work, it’s just that we don’t know how to regain control on our mind.
It’s true that we humans have a very short attention span, but that does not mean that we cannot control our mind and get it back on track. Following are some tips that can help you towards mind control.
Tips on How to mind control
1. Identify thoughts which distract you
One of the primary reasons why we are not able to focus or pay attention is because of some thoughts with which our mind is always pre-occupied. Give yourself sometime and identify those thoughts and write it down. Once you have written it down, think to yourself that these thoughts are disturbing and harmful to you. Indulge in self talk. Once you do this as a practice, the next time similar thoughts come to you, you will start talking to yourself and remove those thoughts from your mind.
2. Be aware about yourself
How many times have you read a page or listened to a song or passed by a road without realizing what you read/heard/saw. It happens with many of us. The best thing to do is to always be aware of you. Be aware of where you are, what you do. Be aware of your breathing rate, etc. Once you put this in practice you will not only be in the present but will also improve your memory.
3. Throw out negative thoughts
If you had a fight with your boss/spouse or someone said something which you did not like, then I would suggest that you put to practice called “negative thoughts discarding”. Do this. Close your eyes and visualize the person for whom you have negative thoughts. Once you see the person, start talking with that person. Explain to him/her your position and discuss with that person. Visualize the entire sequence of events and towards the end tell yourself that, now you have spoken out all your anger/negativity and that you will never let this anger/negativity bother you.
4. Don’t over stress yourself
With so many tensions piling up today and so much work to do stress is bound to happen. Stress not only affects your body, but also your mind. With stress your mind stops to function and cannot prioritize. Once you lose control over the priority in your life you no longer have control over your mind. Therefore, you will at times feel that some tasks are important than others and the next instant you change your mind and something else becomes important. This happens because you are not able to decide. Read this article on Tips for Stress Management
5. Meditate
As food is to the body, meditation is to the mind. Meditation not only re-energizes you but also helps you regain control over your mind. Close your eyes and learn to relax. Once in relaxed state, visualize an object. Once the visualization is clear, start concentrating on that object. Concentrate on how it looks, its color, its shape, all its features, etc. At first this exercise is very difficult, but with time you will master it. I am in the middle of writing a 10 minute meditation guide. Subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on the same.
A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it.
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma,
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(A) 10 marks,
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
**********
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... Am I doing it?
**********
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
**********
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
**********
4) When you were showing your childhood photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
**********
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
**********
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
**********
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
**********
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
**********
9) On that day, it was my birthday. You too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
**********
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love, Aakash
************ *********
Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format ........
Aakash ,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
**********
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
2) If a girl laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo.
You poked your nose inside..... Right ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali ) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes (b) No
**********
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes (b) No
**********
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes (b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you .
The secrets of live-in relationships!
Married men and women derive satisfaction from their spouse's happiness unlike those people who live together without marriage.
After looked into the lives of married individuals found a married person is significantly happier in life if his/ her partner is leading a cheerful life.
The research reveals the institution of marriage induces the habit of sharing among spouses
who not only share their material belongings; they also try to be part of every aspect of each other's life through smooth and rough times.
What women want in men!
The findings shows the level of satisfaction among married people there is a positive and significant effect of the spouse's life satisfaction on the individual's own life satisfaction.
The findings also took into account people enjoying live-in relations. Surprisingly, there was no trace of such satisfaction here.The concept of risk sharing between individuals in a non-marital relationship was found to be almost negligible.
In India, live-in couples are still comparatively rare even in the metros.
"The level of commitment in a live-in relationship tends to be less (though there may be exceptions),"says clinical psychologist, "because when you are married, your family is also involved.Besides this, those who live-in also often prefer not to have children. It is also easier to dissolve a live-in relationship than a marriage because of the legal implications."
According to findings, the trend of live-in relationships has not really caught on in India, especially in the middle and upper middle classes, where marriage is still very much the norm.
But live-in relationships do occur among the upper class as an alternative lifestyle.
Wanna save your marriage? Fantasise!
Are you planning to move in with your partner?
Make sure you weigh the pros and cons before taking such a step. Psychiatrist and therapist has some earnest advice to offer young couples who are contemplating such a move.
i. First and foremost, both partners must be committed to the relationship; they should not view it as a matter of convenience.
ii. The couple must be emotionally mature and geared to deal with opposition from family, colleagues, neighbours, etc. Somewhere along the line, opposition from some party or the another is inevitable.
iii. It is very important for both partners to respect each other's space within the relationship and not take each other for granted.
iv. Nurturing an understanding attitude is a must for both partners to have a fruitful partnership.
v. It is very tempting for partners to start making demands on each other.
Keep a check on this.
The Waste in Worry
If we were to keep a record of all the things we worried about during a given period of time, we would discover, in reviewing them, that the great majority of our anticipated problems or troubles never come to pass. This means that most of the time we devote to worrying, even the constructive kind that prompts us to try to come up with a solution to what is troubling us, is wasted. Thus, we not only caused ourselves unnecessary mental anguish, but also took up valuable minutes and hours that could have been spent elsewhere.
To avoid this, it is often necessary to subject potential sources of worry to the coldly objective and analytical light of reason. Once, sortly before a major concert before a standing-room-only audience, a member of Arturo Toscanini's orchestra approached the great Italian conductor with an expression of sheer terror on his face. "Maestro," the musician fretted, "my instrument is not working properly. I cannot reach the note of E-flat. Whatever will I do? We are to begin in a few moments."
Toscanini looked at the man with utter amazement. Then he smiled kindly and placed an arm around his shoulders. "My friend," the maestro replied, "Do not worry about it. The note E-flat does not appear anywhere in the music that you will be playing this evening."
The next time we find ourselves in the middle of worrying about some matter, we might be wise to stop and ask ourselves what the odds are of the problem really coming to pass. We may be able to go on to something more constructive.
Learning to Get Back Up
Bringing a giraffe into the world is a tall order. A baby giraffe falls 10 feet from its mother's womb and usually lands on its back. Within seconds it rolls over and tucks its legs under its body. From this position it considers the world for the first time and shakes off the last vestiges of the birthing fluid from its eyes and ears. Then the mother giraffe rudely introduces its offspring to the reality of life.
In his book, A View from the Zoo, Gary Richmond describes how a newborn giraffe learns its first lesson.
The mother giraffe lowers her head long enough to take a quick look. Then she positions herself directly over her calf. She waits for about a minute, and then she does the most unreasonable thing. She swings her long, pendulous leg outward and kicks her baby, so that it is sent sprawling head over heels.
When it doesn't get up, the violent process is repeated over and over again. The struggle to rise is momentous. As the baby calf grows tired, the mother kicks it again to stimulate its efforts. Finally, the calf stands for the first time on its wobbly legs.
Then the mother giraffe does the most remarkable thing. She kicks it off its feet again. Why? She wants it to remember how it got up. In the wild, baby giraffes must be able to get up as quickly as possible to stay with the herd, where there is safety. Lions, hyenas, leopards, and wild hunting dogs all enjoy young giraffes, and they'd get it too, if the mother didn't teach her calf to get up quickly and get with it.
The late Irving Stone understood this. He spent a lifetime studying greatness, writing novelized biographies of such men as Michelangelo, Vincent van Gogh, Sigmund Freud, and Charles Darwin.
Stone was once asked if he had found a thread that runs through the lives of all these exceptional people. He said, "I write about people who sometime in their life have a vision or dream of something that should be accomplished and they go to work.
"They are beaten over the head, knocked down, vilified, and for years they get nowhere. But every time they're knocked down they stand up. You cannot destroy these people. And at the end of their lives they've accomplished some modest part of what they set out to do."
Ugly
Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love.
The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner.
His tail has long age been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, and even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!"
All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness.
Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If ever someone picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.
One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor’s huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end.
Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear.
Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.
At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.
Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply.
To give my total to those I cared for. Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.
