MY mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment.
There was this one day during elementary school... It was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school... "your mom only has one eye?!?!"...And they taunted me. I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom, "mom... Why don't you have the other eye?! If you're only going to make me a laughingstock, why don't you just die?!!!" my mom did not respond...
I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time... maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly. That night... I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me.
I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful. Because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty...
then I studied real hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too... now I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom. This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when... what?!
Who's this...it was my mother... still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye. And I asked her, "who are you?!" "I don't know you!!!" as if trying to make that real. I screamed at her," How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!" "GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" and to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight. Thank goodness... she doesn't recognize me... I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life. Then a wave of relief came upon me...
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So, lying to my wife that I was going on a business trip, I went. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.
My son... I think my life has been long enough now... And... I won't visit Seoul anymore... but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much... and I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school. ...for you... and I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.
You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. as a mom, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye... so I gave you mine... I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.
I was never upset at you for anything you did... the couple times that you were angry with me, I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me...' my son. Oh, my son... I don't want you to cry for me, because of my death. My son, I love you my son, I love you so much.
Give your parents roses while they are alive, not dead
IMPROVE YOUR ENGLISH
Many deserving candidates lose out on job opportunities because of their vernacular accent. Can I 'neutralize' my accent?
Yes, you can. All you need to do is train yourself to speak English as comfortably and perfectly as you speak your mother tongue.
How do you train yourself?
By inculcating certain practices in your daily lifestyle. These will get you closer to sounding like a native English speaker and equip you with a global accent -- and you will speak not American or British English, but correct English.
This is the first step to learn any other accent, be it American or British or Australian.
Lisa Mojsin, head trainer, director and founder of the Accurate English Training Company in Los Angeles, offers these tips to help 'neutralize' your accent or rather do away with the local twang, as you speak.
i. Observe the mouth movements of those who speak English well and try to imitate them.
When you are watching television, observe the mouth movements of the speakers. Repeat what they are saying, while imitating the intonation and rhythm of their speech.
ii. Until you learn the correct intonation and rhythm of English, slow your speech down.
If you speak too quickly, and with the wrong intonation and rhythm, native speakers will have a hard time understanding you.
Don't worry about your listener getting impatient with your slow speech -- it is more important that everything you say be understood.
iii. Listen to the 'music' of English.
Do not use the 'music' of your native language when you speak English. Each language has its own way of 'singing'.
iv. Use the dictionary.
Try and familiarize yourself with the phonetic symbols of your dictionary. Look up the correct pronunciation of words that are hard for you to say.
v. Make a list of frequently used words that you find difficult to pronounce and ask someone who speaks the language well to pronounce them for you.
Record these words, listen to them and practise saying them. Listen and read at the same time.
vi. Buy books on tape.
Record yourself reading some sections of the book. Compare the sound of your English with that of the person reading the book on the tape.
vii. Pronounce the ending of each word.
Pay special attention to 'S' and 'ED' endings. This will help you strengthen the mouth muscles that you use when you speak English.
viii. Read aloud in English for 15-20 minutes every day.
Research has shown it takes about three months of daily practice to develop strong mouth muscles for speaking a new language.
ix. Record your own voice and listen for pronunciation mistakes.
Many people hate to hear the sound of their voice and avoid listening to themselves speak. However, this is a very important exercise because doing it will help you become conscious of the mistakes you are making.
x. Be patient.
You can change the way you speak but it won't happen overnight. People often expect instant results and give up too soon. You can change the way you sound if you are willing to put some effort into it.
Quick tips
Various versions of the English language exist. Begin by identifying the category you fall into and start by improving the clarity of your speech.
Focus on removing the mother tongue influence and the 'Indianisms' that creep into your English conversations.
Watch the English news on television channels like Star World, CNN, BBC and English movies on Star Movies and HBO.
Listen to and sing English songs. We'd recommend Westlife, Robbie Williams, Abba, Skeeter Davis and Connie Francis among others.
Books to help you improve your English
Essential English Grammar by Murphy (Cambridge)
Spoken English by R K Bansal and J B Harrison
Pronounce It Perfectly In English (book and three audio cassettes) by Jean Yates, Barrons Educational Series
English Pronunciation For International Students by Paulette Wainless Dale, Lillian Poms
Want to 'neutralize' your accent?
How would you describe the term communication?
Is it merely the 'act' of sending or receiving a message, or is it the 'process' of sending a message?
Actually, it is both the act of sending and receiving a message as well as the process of doing it. The process of communication also involves getting the desired response.
Heard of accent neutralization?
~ He has got a strong Malayalam accent.
~ She is Bengali but speaks with an impeccable English accent.
~ He speaks with a broad/ heavy/ strong/ thick Bihari accent.
~ I thought I could detect a slight south Indian accent.
~ He spoke in heavily accented English.
What exactly do we mean by the above statements? An accent is the peculiar style and rhythm of speaking a particular language; we also call it 'speech music'.
Factors like mother tongue, socio-economic background and medium of education influence one's accent.
Which brings us to accent neutralisation. It means removing all traces of the mother tongue rhythm and adopting the native rhythm of the language you are trying to learn -- English in this case.
With the onset of BPO and international job opportunities in the Indian market, there is a demand for candidates who can speak English without their local accent creeping in.
Your English, influenced by your Hindi?
Many speakers do not realize they are incorporating English words in Hindi sentences or Hindi words in English sentences.
Take for example:
"Pitaji, time kya hua hai (Father, what is the time right now)?"
"I have hazaar things on my mind right now (I have thousands of things on my mind right now)."
Today, 'Indian English' is widespread and well-known for its many eccentricities. For this reason, its 'grammar' must be taken with a pinch of salt.
Indian accents vary greatly from those who lean towards a purist British language to those who lean more towards speech that is tinted with the 'vernacular' (Indian language).
~ The most common instance of modified sounds is the changing of the sounds of English letters like 'D', 'T' and 'R'.
~ South Indians tend to curl the tongue more for the 'L' and 'N' sounds.
~ Bengalis (from both India and Bangladesh) and Biharis often substitute 'J' for 'Z' (as in 'jero' instead of 'zero').
~ People, especially from the Sindh (this pertains to both Indians and Pakistanis) have the habit of changing the 'W' sound to 'V' (as in 'ven' instead of 'when'). The rule to follow to overcome this habit is to 'kiss' your 'Ws' and bite your 'Vs'.
What we are striving for is the ability to communicate effectively, especially in the English language, which has the reputation of being one of the most complex languages to learn. I reiterate -- not difficult, but complex.
The intricacies of English
First, let's understand some of the intricacies of the English language through these two verses from a very popular poem titled Poem of English (author unknown).
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover.
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice.
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four,
Gas, alas and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
What's special about this verse? Words spelt differently have similar pronunciations.
For example, turpentine is pronounced as tur + pen + tien, where as marine, which also ends with 'ine' is pronounced as mar + een. Words spelt similarly have different pronunciations, not to mention the ones that sound nowhere near to the way they are written.
For example, you have psalm (pronounced as Saam) and ache (pronounced as ake as in bake).
Once you are aware of these intricacies, you will find that your pronunciation improves dramatically.
Easy v/s Difficult
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
EASY
DIFFICULT
Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes
Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue
Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...
Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness
Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them..
Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...
Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...
Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...
Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...
Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...
Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise...
Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...
Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...
Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...
Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.
Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...
Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give
Easy to read this
Difficult to follow
Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings
